“Amour Propre”

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(Yet another 20th….and here comes something scribbled out of my recent redezvous with Nurpur region of Himachal on 01 Jan 21…. An experience that remained so much engraved in memory to prompt a piece on the most relevant issue of the past, current and future era – that is, ”Ego”. Dedicated to Ornab for beautiful idea and thanks to Karmic for its validation)

“AMOUR-PROPRE”
(Self Love – The Ego)

As I stood tall on that rock,
Sky in the background was
filled with clouds and smog!
As if it was veiling the spirits
of ever green fort of Nurpur,
a small town in the foothills
of Himachal, I was on a tour!
Despite intransparency around,
I was tempted to click pics
to capture the nature profound!
This urge also led to a ‘Manthan’
Whether it was for the creativity
or for gaining social visibility!

Is this state of mental daze?
or stupor to my intellect that
I project these pics on stage!
Or is it my Amour-Propre,
That seeks to be recognised
in the remote eyes of others!

Is it the need of my ego state?
that wishes to mediate between
the conscious or subconscious,
for a reality check on my fate?
Or the need of personal identity
that puts self worth at stake!

Even in these writings of mine,
whether on FB or WhatsApp,
that I attempt to make or fake,
I really wonder if I do so to,
seek approval n appreciation,
of others in order to validate!

Is it unfair to seek nuptial love,
civility, and moral heroism
to strengthen the attachments
or try act as a perfect human,
to aspire for detachments!
Is it fair to call this sentiment
as the natural animal instinct,
As to why my self-worth is a
prisoner of co-fellow’s acclaim
Or approval of their damn dint!

Is this inflamed sense of pride,
a cause for this kind of fog?
Or its inescapable to free from
this bit negative yet brutally
useful instrument to stay afloat!

Fog of mind was at its ‘Peak’,
as if in competition with the
Pea-souper in forest of Teak!
But it soon got blown away by
those pleasant but bold winds,
leading to a crystal reflection of
the blue sky in that artificial lake,
As clear as those brain strings!

Our self-worth perhaps is
nothing but a reflection of
Nurpur’s Jabbar khad waters
That’s prominent in the daylight,
when time & ambience is right
But then it fades away at night,
when everything is out of sight!

This introspection was worth
a resolution on the first eve
of the new year 2021 to atleast
accept own self n it’s dearth!

“My ego need not necessarily,
always protect the jubilation
And happiness need not be
always a slave, either of the
Probity, rationality or salvation!
Let my ego live with tranquillity
While my happiness attempts
the challenge of life – stability!”

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Published by EmoTruth Canvas

Emotions though a free flowing river, are precious enough to be conserved. This emotional journey of Rajeev is an attempt to discover and paint the truth of life.

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32 thoughts on ““Amour Propre””

  2. Its really a nicely written and thot provoking.
    Probably the best piece of your scribbling that I have read.
    Simple and yet deep.
    Made me introspect.
    👏👏👏

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      2. Genuine Human mind always keeps deliberating on intrinsic intent of self.Very well written..Keep writing Dear Mehaman.

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  3. “Let my ego live with tranquility ” Who so ever can do it, conquers the universe Rajiv. And you seem to be on the way!! Your choice and arrangements of words have the potential to create magic. Hope and pray you keep at it and show us the way to rest our egos in tranquility.
    With warm regards

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  4. Beautiful articulated! I always feel guilty when I let my happiness depend on the approval of others and hence on the satiation of the hunger of my ego. This was such a thought provoking piece of art. And such a great que to how our new years resolutions should be. If we achieve this state of Independence where our happiness and ego mutually coexist, we can be truly awakened.

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  6. It has been rarest of rare that I end up reading such things. But your piece has incited an interest to me. Self worth is worth discovering. Thanks for sharing it sir.

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  8. It is an unnerving realisation that you share this curiosity. I read the poem twice, because it definitely resonated within.

    It is a liberating insight.

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  9. Can definitely relate to what you have penned… Wonderful yet relevant…
    Real yet surreal…
    Contemplated frequently within but seldom discussed and never accepted…
    “Honesty” is the best way to describe what you have written

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  10. Hi Rajeev ,
    Amazing and relevant scribbling !
    Forced me to introspect….
    Self acceptance too is complimentary to self love….no one is perfect ….if we know and accept are strength and weakness…we will be more realistic to life….and probably more happy and satisfied… generally we allow others to set up standands for us and get judged from their perspective….

    Proud of you coursemate….
    Keep rocking…

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  13. A masterpiece as always. With each scribbling, you are graduating to be in the bracket of all time great poets.. Keep it up. Wish you all the success..

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