(Yet another 20th, and here comes my new set of scribblings for worthy readers…. This  one is dedicated to my radiant half who celebrated her special 50s this year, in this very month on 5th, the Saturday. I could not do much on her special day for various constraints, so thought to pen down my feelings)

In the deep valley of Dharamshala
that great grand year of 1970
came a special day, the 5th of Sept!
Though monsoon had just gone
it had brought an angel along
Would continue shining since born!
Sparkle and spread cheer
in all the lives she would share!

She turns 50 this year
in this very month here!
What amazes me is her youth
so fresh and daintily fair!
Not a crease or a frown
Only positivity and cheer!
She is breathtaking as ever
my doll Sonal dear!

It was the same beautiful Dharamshala
While being in her last of teens
gorgeous Ms September met Mr July!
The incorrigible Cancerian got
bowled over by her sheer magic
as if pampered by a million butterflies!
Today after years of coexistence
the contagion seems to multiply!

On her golden day, wanted to do
something a bit out of ordinary
for a girl, absolutely extraordinary!
A mate whose presence is felt
as strongly as absence is dealt!
A dame who is simply capable of
filling the environment with
colours, brightness and a bent!
Unfortunately, Rajeev couldn’t
do anything amazing or giant!

In the wee hours of the D – Day,
I was half asleep and half awake!
when I got up in our new abode
It was a long cherished break!
A break from the patterns and
the routines of “zindagi” at stake!
She was not there on the bed
Her absence filled me with
emptiness, insecurity and dread!
Moved to the drawing and saw
her sipping her favourite tea!
She instantly looked at me
With that killing smile she flashed
There evaporated my fear
filling me with glee!

I realise she is my morning tea
A special and familiar flavour brewing
to set me on feet and help me be ‘ME’!
This flavour always ensures stability
whenever I desire to escape from
the life’s routines and patterns
and sccumb to its temptations
with varied sets of uncertainty
She always switches on the light
in my dark room of negativity
and brings me back to concrete reality!

‘SHE’ is like the fragrance of
the moist soil after the first set of rains!
The precious aroma of nature
that doesn’t change its unique
identity ever, as if from grains!
She always remains well above
conflicts, frustrations and complaints!
She tactfully acts as an oar, ensures
smooth sailing and forward mobility
of our boat, despite the life storms
and their leftover mortal stains!

Sonal!…my radiant half
I am in love with myself
not because of my own
charisma, ways or chaff!
But because of your rays
of hope, love and guffaw!
May you continue to nurture
this man of yours in elegant ways
As I pray for our well being
posterity and brighter days!

(Yet another 20th! But this time it was a challenge to fulfill the commitment to self to write on the D- Day 20th of every month due to having woken up to the task just two hours ago… occupied at many fronts, perhaps fatigued too. Well here is something scribbled in quickly on a subject damn bold to take a plunge into and yet do justice too by keeping it at subtle level! But that’s what I would attempt, that is accept such challenges. The subject has huge relevance to our society where loosing virginity is still considered a taboo atleast amongst majority of my peers…Am I right????

This piece is dedicated to the generation NEXT, the youngsters – future of tomorrow… who are really candid about life, and yet have the robust value system, not the notional one….a generation I relate to much better than peers! So check it out what your own Rajeev says)

As he entered into the dark tunnel;
the moist, soft and full of mystery
That was the first time, in reality when
he sucummbed to the vestal modesty!

Was it breaking a promise to self?
Or the own chest beating chastity
Was it a question of unclear ethics?
Or the farce of honour and purity
Was it self denial or self restraint?
Or fear of losing sense & serenity
Was it a game of that good or bad?
Or merely a stigma attached to the
pseudo virtue of so called virginity!

At the end of day, rather than
it being a case of sheer pride;
he became filled with shame!
As if making love had a price;
But the guilt trip couldn’t last
any longer with mind change!
He couldn’t stop his inner self
of sending vibes to the B&W;
to interpret Grey and its range!

He took onus of his own deeds
and remembered the magic beads!
When on that beautiful incredible day
he had pulled a string of the guitar
to feel her vibration in his arms!
And pressed the capotasto gently
not just to increase the pitch, but
also to enhance desired foreplay in
music-instrument, the love symbol
for nurturing his passions firmly!

Soon sounds broke into a love song;
making the instrument scream, and
emitting sheer pleasure & ecstasy;
Each string unique in nature, but
resonating at different frequency!
Making his fast heartbeat skip a bit;
Till the euphoria finally settled down,
satiated with the bliss of tenderness;
and feel of metaphysically complete!

Yog – The Union

(Though my every scribbling appears on the Facebook and Personal Blog ‘PraNcrab’ on 20th of every month, this one is bit special as D Day falls in the month of my birth. As I turn 57 today, I hardly ponder over the past, as there doesn’t seems to be any learning. I struggle to stay alive and remain as exuberant as possible in my present. And really look forward to the wonderful atleast 50 more years to explore and atleast learn from life…..

This piece draws inspiration from some of the science – spiritual combo conversations that I always simply enjoy with an amazing yogic friend Dr. Yogita Shukla, and a few equally amazing other dear friend n mentors like Suman ma’am n Adi who not only provides me such fuel for spicy subjects but act as motivators…..and also great friends like you the readers who despite my average stuff, always encourage me with kind and thoughtful words.

Gratitude to all of you 🙏 )

Every time, he interacted with her
It ended up in a conflict of the adverse
He as the ‘Body’ and she as the ‘Mind’
Seemingly worst rivals in the universe!

The Mind felt like a sinking ship
submerged under the Body askew
Struggling to stay afloat to renew!
when the ‘Heart’ stepped into rescue
Using buoyancy of love as a cue!

And then came that magical phase,
when the gap got bridged with grace!
It was Yog that brought the ‘Union’
Fusing the entities Body, Mind & Heart
converging them into communion!

Like a Coordinate Covalent bond
between two atoms – Body n Mind
Ready to share an extra electron
To become the ‘Soul’ in the Grind!

A bond that’s not just unusually rare
perhaps of the kind, when parents care!
A bond when connected, leading to
the presence of absolute solitude and
absence of body itself, as they share
while mind continue n engage to dare!

An ultimate bond that defines ‘Love’,
in its three different dimensions –
‘Bhog’, as love for the Physical body
‘Shakti’, love for the heart, beyond body
‘Darshan’, love for the beautiful mind
a much transcendental state of bind!

The Yog union has yet another face –
Two atoms with ‘Triple Covalent Bond’,
sharing three electrons each of brace!
Intellectual, Emotional, & the Physical
A possiblity, but scarce one to lace!

More often than not, it’s not the Double
but the eligible Single Covalent Bond
that prevails among the great mortals
where one out of the three electrons
is shared between coexistent cartals!

And what the incorrigible man Rajeev
can aspire or achieve is an ‘Ionic Bond’
with his family, friends and all allies!
Where no electrons can be shared,
except for the charge that’s spared!
The real difference lies in identifying
whether its ‘Strong’ or ‘Simply’ paired!

It’s the material and/or physical bond
that relies & thrives on mutual benefits
where the relationship can nowhere be
the much-sought-after divine affair of
the exemplary love of ‘Shiva n Shakti’,
an unconditional feel of pure emotions
rather a business of rigid emoticons!
What we perceptively refer as ‘Love’
is nothing but ‘Bhog’ rather than ‘Bhakti’

But the saving grace is that Rajeev,
‘the incorrigible’ finally does realize
Love is much beyond its physicality,
that Love is much beyond ownership
and Love is much beyond loyalty!
In essence it has no fixed diction
It may sound as poetic hallucination!
But has an ever inescapable union
with God’s own exalted creation!

(My Blog Link:
https://prabncrab.home.blog/2020/07/20/yog-the-union/)

(Yet another 20th today, the day to share expressions with all of you. The scribblings are motivated by the recent cyclonic storm ‘Amphan’ literally meaning as ‘Sky’ that formed in the Bay of Bengal. Here it goes….)

Whenever land gets into depression,
the adjoining ocean gets empathetic
Churns itself to reflect acute passion
It may appear to be in aggression
but in actuality it is a reflection of its
eternal endeavour to be optimistic!

Though its positivity is asymptomatic,
yet the storm reflects all symptoms
of assertion to wet the thirsty soil
As if to pay land, overdue lease rental
and to regain as well as rejuvenate
its ebbing, never ending emotions!

As time is overtaking me in my life,
I continue to congest my little mind
with many bodies, bonds and bouts!
Do I need to evict out of great grind,
and keep refining torrents of grouse?
In similar way, inevitable storm surge,
created by the cyclone does browse!

It smashes the structures with shaky
foundations putting lives at a stake!
Dressed up like a mighty monster,
It doesn’t just haunt me with the Gale!
But uproots trees with poor moorings,
And liberates the low feeling land
from man-made loads, and attempts
to return the land, its original bearings!

But finally water does find its path to,
go back to the ocean of emotions!
And if you try destroying its arteries,
with ulterior obstructions and spurts!
The Ocean will always surprise you,
and get you flooded with outbursts!

I have a feel to have been born with
a soul that is way too insensitive
to this warm world of immortals,
as warm as Warm Core cyclones!
Too challenging for me to decipher
things, as deeply and differently as,
the majority of humans would do!
Thus, an ever increasing gyre……..
Is this god’s blessing or undesirable
curse, that keeps alive the satire?

Any cyclone derives energy and power
from it’s ‘Eye’, a much calmer center!
An area with lowest pressure around! A sign of zero winds n fair weather
But surrounded by a towering Eyewall, A ring of violent winds n bad weather!
So is the life, ever drawing power from
its ‘Inner-Eye’, to add to its live spirits,
the requisite frolic, fuel and feather!

The ‘Amphan’ made the landfall with
a thumping sound, as a nature’s ail,
In no time, there was complete peace,
giving enough sign of a blazing trail!
As in this life too, there is an unease,
when its unusual calm n chilling peace,
But why I get into shell, without any deeds!
Why can’t I take a cue, n use this calm,
to stabilise a bit, prepare for the storm!
Is it anxiety of unknown face or mask,
Or its lull prior to storm, dealy Shark?

And a well seasoned weatherman
in Rajeev does prompt him to ponder!
As well defined N clear is this ‘Eye’,
As stronger will be the cyclone N Me,
Determined, focused and reaching out
as ‘Amphan’, to as high as the ‘Sky’!

Contrary to the popular perception,
that I am growing bouncy and bold.
My shadow keeps resisting the same,
and insists that you are getting old!

Often told as to where from, I draw
the inspiration to be warm-hearted.
She smiles on the scrutiny thereon,
indulgently scoffing my high-on!

With sensory organs kicking alive,
and being absolutely agile, makes
me endeavour to attempt a bribe!
Having failed miserably to do so,
I gather the emotions in the bind,
and try compel the shadow
to abandon her nagging grind!
But finally it makes me reconcile
to her persisting roar N rewind!

Despite ever swaying with Rajeev,
she is never in his possession.
Rather overpowers & gets genitive
to gulp him as her possession!
Keeping the lesser mortal in a lurch,
to resolve if he is a pond or an ocean!

Such dilemma of identity crisis,
brings vacuum of mixed emotions.
With tears rolling down the track,
instantly on such morbid occasions,
As happens in the case of vapour,
the pain does condense into water.
An amazing experience of mine,
with shadow as mute spectator!

It’s a unique & raw transformation
of sentiments into physical matter.
Even though it doesn’t satisfy the
classical Mass – Balance equation!

Perhaps no one can ever possess
the feelings of yet another person.
Perception about life is the thing,
individuals may own, not reaction!
Thus need for mind to have sanity,
to perceive life well in tranquility!

As has always been the case,
Knowledge to Rajeev dawned
at absolute snail’s pace!
He, such an ordinary mortal,
Took time to perceive
the lockdown’s throttle! That
it’s not even a lockdown per-se,
But a much needed nemesis,
Well showered with divine grace for self driven catharsis!

It took a long time in sway,
look at leisure with him today!
That popped up from the Virus,
and recreated his own
relationship with himself,
that was a bit frittering away!

A relationship too complicated,
amidst various shades of Grey!
Neither can you walk away from yourself
Nor can you forgive your own mistakes
So can you not escape from your own flaws, that will forever stay to haunt and prey!

You have no option but to love yourself,
even when you are disgusted with thyself,
and in Denial to accept own less-self!

Imagine, if it would have been
a lock-up, than a lock-down!
It would have led to confined
boundaries and an impound!
It had meant no possibility for,
me to regenerate and sanctify,
to inspire virtuous impulses,
to impart strength to endure
the current trials n self-pacify!

So Guys n Gals!!!!!!
Didn’t it ever occur to you, that
lock-down was always there,
atleast in those lives who prefer
to be confined to own bee hive,
not to put time safari into Gear!
Our body captive within its bust!
But, mind free to transgress and
liberate from hibernation n just!

Thus the realisation that lock-down offers immense
opportunity to slow down,
Preserve precious energies,
rest mind and look inward,
with details in apt attention,
but minus impulse of intention!

A spring time when clouds itself are critically analyzing own shadows and radiations!
Trees too are shedding leaves,
to evolve, and ensure survival and resource conservation!
Rain drops are converging to be
of an optimal size for creation!
Isn’t this time to break the shell around, come out of it and face our hazily revealing reflections!
In Life’s Mirror that would lay bare our harbored aspirations!

No sooner did I manage to reach,
than the Sun had started
getting pale n peach!
Though it wa only a few minutes
spent on the crowded beach
with the trailing scents!
yet the potent energy of sea,
stirred in me, the emotions so deep,
that the inadequacy mattered a dime!
It rather created a splendid beep,
as I breathed in the timeless divine!

Having been alone, did I feel lonely?
Surprisingly not! rather to the contrary,
I had dived into my own reflections,
switching to down memory lane alive
and creating this dame as companion,
the hottie bringing warmth but coolly!

Was it her sheer strong presence,
or was it fragrance of sea n her salt!
Or else her deep piercing eyes,
inviting lips and her killing curves,
Or her entangled hairline that was
forced to fly by winds, and gently
stroked her face with grace n verve!
My eyes constantly gazed at her,
making her conscious of my nerves!
whereas keeping me drunk to the hilt,
as if I was having the single Malt!

One rarely gets in vibes to reflections,
of such precious yet precarious times!
When sunshine transforms to shades,
leaving Day at the bay, and providing
both space and breath to the dark yet
beautiful n irreversible night crimes!

When bodies generate enough heat,
with a self regulated control of grinds!
Just like that surface of chasmic sea,
on this tiny yet enriched evening
when waves kept bringing in the
violent white froth, touching our feet!
As if getting blessed on its return leg,
and leaving the bubbled calm of its
imprints on sand, in order to greet!

Far in the horizon, sea kept its charm!
And the beauty next to me kept me
engaged, loved, wanted and warm!
She kept diverting my attention, and
even under check with burning queries,
which eventually served as a bond!

Being bit lonely and even alone,
I really wished that the magical
moments clock will never stop!
Hoping she may continue staying
with me, and ensure her crop!
In anticipation, I signaled her to
walk along beach’s trailing path
and extended her my hand to
be held and to walk the talk!
But the moment I touched her,
she disappeared into the dark!
I kept recalling my reflections,
time and again, to bring her back
but neither I found nor her spark!

I started back my return journey
towards the IIT Guest House!
It was with bit a heavy heart,
and resistant drunken legs,
yet with the aspiration that she
may surprise me with her bounce!
But she didn’t either call for me
or show her reflection to browse!
The beach moving away from me,
and me getting separated from
her awe, aura, attire and arouse!

Yet another 20th and at this hour late in the night – 2302h, while the D day was about to culminate, I realised that I just couldn’t live upto my own expectations and pen down anything for the day…. Let me attempt this challenge of writing in an hour or so, and not break this cycle… This piece is dedicated to my friend, the Brand Maker, Giraj (Goldy) for introducing me to a wonderful brainstorming and stimulating event M.A.D.D today!

“Behind the Moon”

It was a day full with action,
Wanted a place to relax now,
and sit back for correction!
And have a smooth flight of
musings, mass n mention!
Came an offer – mix of the
Cult Art and Attraction

And I couldn’t resist myself,
But to climb those stairs,
and join cubicle of life, that
was large enough for love,
But small for Me, I and self!
My poem kept hanging over
those railing of stairs hope,
as if someone holding her back
and charging on the slope!

Outside the cubicle of josh,
night was geting undressed
and preparing herself for,
embracing the bright sky!
Whereas deep inside venue
and ‘Behind the Moon’, the
live lyrics kept creating waves,
making me joyous yet shy!

Eventually, sky got thirsty,
with clouds sucking water!
And sprinkling on the rails,
thunder echoing applause,
making even the poet falter,
and poem too getting alter!
Meanwhile, wine was in the air
making wind also get drunk
and forget it’s own charter!
The legend, iconic n cult were
getting into act, and creating
brand, spice and laughter!

It was an amazing combo of
uniqueness of thoughts!
persistence and values,
connectivity and passion,
and the difference it made,
and the awe, that it brought

I don’t know as to what
should I call the M.A.D.D
meeting of not so mads!
Was it a peep into the
branding exercise or steering
friends to become grads?
Or my own tyrst with the
exploration of you ‘Rajeev’,
a cult piece in its own way,
yet behaving as a young brat!

IN ROMANCE WITH MYSELF!

The evening was hazy
But with love in the air,
it was absolutely crazy!
And to add spice to it,
the huge window glass
at the premier 7th floor
was soaking rain tears,
as if seeding n making
the life organs greasy!

No sooner did I realise,
the dusk became dark,
The yellow lights along
the black metal road,
started creating an arc!

Just next to my hotel,
The view was marvellous
Rainbows around the arcs,
were igniting the sparkle
to the clicking glasses
and the red wine bottle!

Day had become night,
making me ponder…..
Day being as a man,
always admired by women
Night being as a woman,
always fantasised by men!
Both chasing each other,
yet never……..
reaching out to the other,
perhaps an unspoken
understanding with each other!

As if they are Black n White!
Except for shades of ‘Grey’
that is, Dusk and Dawn….
offering the only times of
confluence in their life, and
giving us own precious moments,
absolutely ideal to capture stills,
As well as revered for the frills!

The bright headlights of
speeding cars on slant,
were disappearing fast!
A reflection of motion but,
somehow giving an illusion
of dissipating energy too
in that magnificent ghat!

I abruptly left the cosy bed,
stood next to the window
to gauge the moving life,
pay attention to the details!
But the big silhouette
of my aspirations on glass
completely clouded vision,
when I was trying to Bail!

Rays of hope were still alive,
Trying penetrate through cloud,
and gunning for outside view,
For it to be once again live!

I heard the thud of sound!
And turned back to see,
the wind slamming door,
making it flutter on rebound!
and driving the wine glass
chuckle against the gravity,
crash down but with class!

Felt like dipping into this
vast pool of red, and
feel the taste of love n bliss!
Instead I withdrew suddenly,
leaving the sillhoute alone,
and started for the beach!
To be at an empty shack,
that was full of lives and
yet not within my reach!

I could not resist my desire,
but to look back at the
abandoned symbol of fire!
And I found sillhoute
breaking barrier of glass,
and coming closer to the gyre!

All that I wanted to tell her,
was as to how much
it meant to be with her!
My ego didn’t let me
open up n create a vent!!
My eyes said all that I meant,
She smiled back with her eyes!
sealed my lips with her lips,
and shut me from all sides!

In the hustle and bustle
amidst the human creations,
whenever I try hearing from
the hollows around me,
and those echo chambers
of judgement and opinions!
I feel vulnerable n affected,
when aggression sips poison
from hatred and indignation!
but wisdom asks to move on,
and aspire to be perfected!

Is it really for any cause?
That my mood shifts,
from anger to concern
Or is it that, simply I am
learning to take a pause!
Pause before I judge,
Pause before I assume,
or when I simply accuse!

Is Rajeev evolving spiritual?
Not really for sure….
Rather acts of few rituals!
Is it spiritual to do yoga,
and become a vegan, or
buy organic stuff, and wear
healing stones and rings!
Visit ashrams and read
the enlightened verses,
and, yet judge someone,
even offer the ascription
to the one who hardly cares
about such superior things!

One fine day………
My dear friend Ravi asked
in this WhatsApp group
of “Natkhat Ganiticians”,
as to why, were we stubborn!
Especially when return ticket
was already pre-printed,
and absolutely had confirmed
the very day we were born!

I smiled, rather grinned,
and resorted to rhetoric,
to blow my own trumpet,
and feel pride n trimmed!
“Un-apologetically Myself,”
is not just my status tagline,
But a certain way of life
that is fully brimmed!
Though a hard nut to crack,
but I do try damn hard,
for learning to re-learn,
to cross the thin line!
and move away from
ego trap of superiorities,
and self righteousness,
in order to toe the line,
to realise my priorities!

Ravi! I do succeed, and fail
In this pendulum crossover,
when time is ticking fast,
making even the breaths frail,
And in those times of failures,
I console myself in the trail!
And this mortal defends like this…..

Karma’ doesn’t mean
the life actions per-se,
but it’s our pure intentions!
It’s not about being perfect,
because Pobody is Nerfect! Its rather about balance of –
The irresistible ‘smile’,
The grateful ‘heart’, and
The impeccable ‘word’
….These three assets,
that I love giving to all,
yet keeping them too, and
yet without any pretentions!